Genie and Indian

Three guys, a Pak, a Srilankan and an Indian are out walking together one
day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give
you each one wish, that's three wishes total" says the Genie.
The Srilankan says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will
also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Sri Lanka." With a blink
of the Genie's eye, 'FOOM' the land in Srilanka was forever made fertile for
farming.
The Pak was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Pakistan, so that no
foreigners can come into our precious state."Again, with a blink of the
Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge all around Pakistan.
The Indian asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and
completely surrounds the state. Nothing can get in or out."
The Indian says, "Fill it up with water".

Comparison

MOTHER-IN-LAW


In India - A woman capable of making your life miserable.
In USA - A woman you never fight with, because where else
will
you find such a dedicated babysitter for free??

HUSBAND
In India - A boring Indian species, who listens more to
his
mother than you, and orders you around to serve him, his
parents, and
siblings.
In USA - Still boring, but now a useful human species
that comes
in handy when the house needs to be vacuumed, the laundry
folded,
the lawn maintained, the basement finished, etc.... need
I go on??


FRIEND
In India - A person whose house you drop into any time of
the
day or night and you'll be welcome.
In USA - A person who you have to call first to check and
make
sure he or she is not busy.

WIFE
In India - A woman who gives you your underwear and towel
when
you go to take a shower.
In USA - A woman who yells at you not to leave the tub
dirty
when you go to take a bath.

SON
In India - A teenager, who without asking will carry your
grocery bags from the market.
In USA - A teenager, who suddenly remembers he has lots
of
homework when you start mowing the lawn.

DAUGHTER
In India - A lovely doll, who brings tears to your eyes
when she
is getting married.
In USA - A lovely doll,who brings you tears long before
any
marriage.

MOTHER
In India - A woman who defends you and cares for you, but
would
not dare to go against your father's wishes for you.
In USA - A woman who is a sucker for anything you want,
especially if dad's against it.

FATHER
In India - A person you are afraid of, and who is never
to be
disobeyed.
In USA - A person whom you pretend to obey, after all he
is
the one paying your college tution.

INDIAN ENGINEER
In India - A person with a respectable job and good
wages.
In USA - A person without a secure job, who always dreams
one
day he will be rich.

BHANGRA
In India - A vigorous Pungabi folk dance.
In USA - An Indian dance you do,when you don't know how
to dance at
all.

Bruce Lee's World

1) What is Bruce Lee's favorite vegetable?
Ans: Mu Lee

2) What does Bruce Lee like to have for lunch?
Ans: Tha Lee

3)What happens to the theatre once a Bruce Lee movie is
over ?
Ans: Kha Lee

4) What is Bruce Lee's sister-in-law's name?
Ans: Saa Lee

5) Bruce Lee's favorite breakfast?
Ans: Id Lee

6) Bruce Lee's favourite festival
Ans: Diwa Lee

7) Bruce Lee's favorite Actress
Ans: Sona lee

8) Bruce Lee's favorite Music
Ans: Qawa lee

9) What is Bruce Lee's most interesting job?
Ans: Coo Lee

10) When did Bruce Lee die?
Ans: Final Lee

11) How did Bruce Lee die?
Ans: With a Go Lee

12) What is Bruce Lee's favorite hill station
Ans: Kulu Mana Lee

13) What is Bruce Lee's nick name?
Ans: Mawa Lee

14) What is Bruce Lee's favorite Hindi movie?
Ans: Gharwa LEE Baharwa LEE

15) Who is Bruce Lee's favourite cricketer?
Ans: Saurav Gangu Lee

TEN COMMANDMENTS

The most damaging one letter word :I Avoid it.
The most satisfying two-letter word :WE Use it.
The most poisonous three-letter word :EGO Kill it.
The most used four-letter word :LOVE Value it.
The most pleasing five-letter word :SMILE Keep it.
The fastest spreading six-letter word :RUMOUR Ignore it.
The most enviable seven-letter word :SUCCESS Achieve it.
The most nefarious eight-letter word :JEALOUSY Distance it.
The most powerful nine-letter word :KNOWLEDGE Acquire it.
The most essential ten-letter word :CONFIDENCE Trust it.

Abbreviations - Just check this out

H.O.L.L.A.N.D. - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies.

I.T.A.L.Y. - I Trust And Love You.

L.I.B.Y.A. - Love Is Beautiful; You Also.

F.R.A.N.C.E. - Friendships Remain And Never Can End.

C.H.I.N.A. - Come Here.. I Need Affection.

B.U.R.M.A. - Between Us, Remember Me Always.

N.E.P.A.L. - Never Ever Part As Lovers.

I.N.D.I.A. - I Nearly Died In Adoration.

K.E.N.Y.A. - Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing.

C.A.N.A.D.A. - Cute And Naughty Action that Developed into Attraction

K.O.R.E.A. - Keep Optimistic Regardless of Every Adversity.

E.G.Y.P.T. - Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing!

M.A.N.I.L.A. - May All Nights Inspire Love Always.

P.E.R.U. - Phorget Everyone... Remember Us.

5 simple rules to be happy

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without
sorrow,sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the
day,comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

Disappointments are like road humps, they slow you
down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards. Don't stay on the
humps too long.
Move on!

When you feel down because you didn't get what you
want,just sit tight and be happy, because God is thinking
of something better to give you.

When something happens to you, good or bad, consider
what it means.
There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how
to laugh more or not to cry too hard.

You can't make someone love you,
all you can do is be someone who can be loved,
the rest is up to the person to realise your worth.

The measure of love is when you love without measure.
In life there are very rare chances that you'll meet the person you love,love
you in return.
So once you have it don't ever let go, the chance
might never come your way again.

It's better to lose your pride to the one you love,
than to lose the one you love because of pride.

We spend too much time looking for the right person to
love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we
should be perfecting the love we give.

When you truly care for someone, you don't look for
faults, you don't look for answers, you don't look for mistakes.
Instead, you fight the mistakes, you accept the faults , and you overlook
the
excuses.

Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one
who can take his place.
Friendship is like wine, it gets better as it grows
older.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

No one can go back and make a brand new start.
Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

Fantastic

Real Ad with no Special Effects

LIFE'S SIMPLE BUT CRITICAL QUESTIONS?

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have tried to brighten your day by making you remember that life's simple pleasures are the best!!!!!!!!!!

Increase Broadband Speed Using Simple Tweak

A Simple Tweak (XP Pro only) which will increase your Broadband Speed.

Make sure you Log on as Administrator, not as a user with Administrator privileges.

Follow the steps as given below-

1) Click on Start Button.

2) Select Run From Start Menu.

3) Type gpedit.msc

4) Expand the [Administrative Templates] branch.

5) Then Expand the [Network] branch.

6) Highlight(Select by Single Click) [QoS Packet Scheduler]

7) Double-click [Limit Reservable Bandwidth] (Available in Right Side Panel)

8) Check(Select By Single Click on it) [Enabled]

9) Change [Bandwidth limit %] to 0 %

10) Click [OK] Button.

11) Restart Your PC.

12) Now Check Your Broadband Speed.

Improve Windows-XP Shutdown Speed

This tweak reduces the time Windows-XP waits before automatically closing any running programs when you give it the command to shutdown.

Follow the steps as given below-

1) Go to Start then select Run

2) Type 'Regedit' and click ok

3) Find 'HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Control Panel\Desktop\'

4) Select 'WaitToKillAppTimeout'

5) Right click and select 'Modify'

6) Change the value to '1000'

7) Click 'OK'

8) Now select 'HungAppTimeout'

9) Right click and select 'Modify'

10) Change the value to '1000'

11) Click 'OK'

For the acronym enthusiasts ........

AOL Always Off Line

ISDN It Still Does Nothing

APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

SCSI System Can't See It

DOS Defective Operating System

BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

IBM I Blame Microsoft

DEC Do Expect Cuts

CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete Monthly

OS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too.

WWW World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH Most Applications Crash;If Not,The Operating System Hangs

PENTIUM Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Math

COBOL Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

AMIGA A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction

LISP Lots of Infuriating Silly Parenthesis

MIPS Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed

WINDOWS Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

MICROSOFT Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Them

.-. ((___)) .-.

/ \ .-. [ x x ] .-. / \

/-----\-----/---\--\ /--/---\-----/-----\

/ \ / `-(' ')-' \ / \

/ `-' (U) `-' \

`-' .ooM `-'

************************************************************

oooO

/ ) Oooo

\ ( ( \

\_) ) /

(_/

************************************************************

/)(\

\__/ /)(\

\__/

Save yourself! Go outside! Do something

"THE COW WALKS AMONGST US"

______________________________________________________

"Proof for 3=2 -> from Ramanujam's dairy!"

Ramanujam's proof!!.... can u find any flaws??

Can U Prove 3=2??

This seems to be an anomaly or whatever u call in mathematics.

It seems, Ram anujam found it but never disclosed it during his life time

and that it has been found from his dairy.

See this illustration:

-6 = -6

9-15 = 4-10

adding 25/4 to both sides:

9-15+(25/4) = 4-10+(25/4 )

Changing the order

9+(25/4)-15 = 4+(25/4)-10

(this is just like : a square + b square - two a b = (a-b)square. )

Here a = 3, b=5/2 for L.H.S and a =2, b=5/2 for R.H.S.

So it can be expressed as follows:

(3-5/2)(3-5/ 2) = (2-5/2)(2-5/ 2)

Taking positive square root on both sides:

3 - 5/2 = 2 - 5/2

3 = 2

ANY FLAWS??????? ???????

True Love

Two butterflies were in love........ .


One day, they decided to play Hide n Seek.......



During the play.....
Boy Butterfly - "A small game within us"
Girl Butterfly - "OK"
Boy Butterfly - "The one who sits in this flower tomorrow early in the
morning..... that one loves the other one more....."
Girl Butterfly - "OK"

Next morning, the boy butterfly waits for the flower to open so that he
can sit before the girl butterfly does......

Finally, the flower opened.....

What did he see.....???? ?........

..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
The girl butterfly had died inside the flower.....

She stayed there all night......so that early in the morning..... .as
soon as she sees him.......she can fly to him and tell him how much she
loved him........

This is true LOVE....

Life is LOVE.......

LIVING MIGHT MEAN TAKING CHANCES, BUT THEY ARE WORTH TAKING......
LOVING MIGHT BE A MISTAKE, BUT ITS WORTH MAKING...... ...

Everyone is important in life

A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home.

The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened. He kept increasing the number of blocks but the cat
kept coming home before him.

At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the cat there.

An hour later.... The man calls his wife at home and asked her, "Jen
is the cat there?" "Yes, why do you ask?" answered the wife.

Frustrated the man said," Put that damn cat on the phone, I am lost
and I need directions to reach home!!!


Moral:

How much ever we dislike somebody, someday we will need their assistance. So never worry how many people dislike you...

Copy - Paste

A well-known motivational speaker gathering the entire crowd's attention, said,
"The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !"
The crowd was shocked!
He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!"
The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received.
About a week later, one of the top managers who had the training decided to use that joke at his house. He
tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It was a bit foggy to him.
He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"
Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring.
After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager
finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was !"
As expected, he got the thrashing of his life time....


Moral of the story : Don't copy if you can't paste

Dedication

A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her. The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed.

The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised.

That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn't sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble.



Moral of the story: If you don't give your hundred percent in a relationship, you'll always keep doubting if the other person has given his/her hundred percent.. This is applicable for any relationship like love, employer-employee relationship etc., Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully